I was at the local hardware store buying a few things, including a coil of hose to replace the one that Porter ran over with the lawnmower last fall. (Though admittedly the bits have come in handy for a dozen little projects.) And I was talking with one of the women who work there, and she told me how she'd had to replace her hose because a raccoon hadn't been willing to let them out of their house and so her husband had blasted it with the shotgun, which had done for the raccoon, but had had some collateral damage as well. How a few days later her husband had called her all annoyed, saying "What did you do to the hose?" and she answered, "Why? Is it acting like a sprinkler instead of a hose?" and he said, "Yeah, what did you, uh, mmmmm, uh never mind." And she laughed with satisfaction.
You just don't get service like that at the Home Depot.